Friday, February 10, 2017

Week 5 Storytelling: The Three Lovers

man's infidelity

A widow once had a daughter named Coral. She was twenty, and stunning. Dark brown hair fell like a waterfall down her back and her hazel eyes took your breath away. Her mother loved her dearly and wanted her to be happy. So, when three handsome young men appeared at their door, she thought this was her chance. 

She welcomed the men into their home. They looked as if they had been traveling for a while, so she offered them bread and water. While they were getting their fill, she noticed that they all had bare left hands. She hit the jackpot with them. 

"My daughter Coral should be home at any moment. I believe she is around the same age as you young gentleman. You'll have to stay to meet her. I insist."  

The young men just stopped by for some water and were in a hurry to get back home. That no longer seemed like an option. 

"We'd love to meet her, ma'am," they finally agreed. 

About half an hour passes and they hear Coral coming up the cobble road. 

"Here she comes, gentlemen."

Coral then walked inside and was startled to see three strange men staring back at her. "Not again," she thought to herself, rolling her eyes as she closed the door behind her. This wasn't the first time her mother had done something like this. 

"Oh, uh, hello, gentlemen. I wasn't expecting a full house when I returned from the market. Will you be joining us for dinner? I'm afraid I only purchased enough food for the two of us, but I can most certainly make a trip back, if you will be staying," Coral said to the room of men. 

"Uh, n-n-no, we didn't plan on staying for dinner," one of the young men stuttered when he noticed the young woman's beauty. 

"What he means to say is we would love to, but we most certainly don't want to intrude," another said. 

"Yes, exactly. If you would like, I wouldn't mind joining you. I would hate for you to make a trip back alone for our sake," the third offered. 

"Well, why don't all three of you accompany her back to the market?" the mother eagerly mentioned. 

"Mother, that is not necessary. I would hate to ask that of our unexpected guests," Coral said with a slightly annoyed tone. 

She was tired of her mother always trying to find her a husband. "You're not getting any younger," she would always say. "Your father and I were married at fourteen. If you don't marry soon, you may never find someone." Coral was happy being independent and free. It allowed her to travel wherever and meet up with friends whenever. If she never got married, she wouldn't be upset. 

"Can I speak to you outside?" Coral firmly asked her mother. 

As the mother followed Coral out the door, she turned to the young men, "Don't mind us. This should just take a second." 

"Mother, how many times have I asked you not to bring strange men into our home? I am not looking to get married. I enjoy being by myself," she explained.

"You see, I did not bring them here," she responded. "This time!"

Coral rolled her eyes once more. "Of course you didn't."

 "They were tired from their travels and needed somewhere to rest and replenish. I couldn't just turn them away. Plus, they are all very good-looking young men." 

"Yes, mother, they are good looking men. That doesn't mean I want to make one of them my husband."

"Oh, stop. Let them join you back to the market. Talk to them, ask them questions. You never know what could happen," her mother winked and pinched her cheek before she turned to go back inside. 

"When is this going to end?" Coral asked under her breath before following. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they returned from the market. Coral's mother gave her the cheesy grin she does when she wants to be nosy. The men retreated to the living area, while Coral and her mother prepared supper. 

"So, how did it go?" her mother inquired as she nudged her shoulder against Coral's. 

"Mother, I'm just not interested in getting married. They are very nice gentleman, but not what I'm looking for in a husband." 

"Maybe it's about time you don't be so picky. I'm getting older, you're getting older. You know, you-"

"Your father and I were married at fourteen, blah blah blah," Coral mocked her mother. "Yes, I know. You've told me a thousand times, Mother. I'm sorry, but I'm not interested."

"They're so handsome and kind though. What more could you want in a husband?" 

"If that's how you feel, why don't you marry one?" she snapped back in annoyance. "I wish you would respect my wishes and stop pushing marriage on me. If I am meant to be married, it will happen on its own. So, please, stop trying to set me up with any man you come across."

"But, I-"

"No, Mother. After this, you are done," Coral demanded. 

"Okay, okay, fine. After this, I'm done."

"Thank you. Now, let's finish this dinner so we can send them on their way." 

The two finished the pork stew and set the table. Dinner was awkward, as you could cut the tension with a knife. The men could tell their presence was no longer wanted, so they rushed to finish supper. As quickly as they could, without looking as if they were running out the door, they thanked the women, said their goodbyes and went on their way. 

When the gentleman were far enough away, one of them asked, "Were you guys under the impression that the mother was trying to play matchmaker?"

"I certainly felt that way," the other agreed. 

"We probably should have mentioned we are celibate," the third chuckled. 


Author's Notes: In the original story, it told of a man that had a beautiful daughter. When she was out of childhood, three young men came to their door asking the father for his daughter's hand. He didn't want to give her to anyone, but decided he would give her away to one of them. She wouldn't marry one for fear of hurting the other two. The men stayed with the man and daughter in hopes that things would change. She later grew ill and passed away. The men cremated her body. One lived on her ashes and got his food by begging. Another carried her bones to dip them in the Ganges river. The third became a monk and traveled the countries. One day the monk comes to a house, and is surprised when the mother throws her child, who is having a "tantrum," into a fire and burns him up. The father then shows the monk a spell which brings the child back to life. When the family is asleep, the monk sneaks out of bed, steals the book and brings it back to where the girl's ashes are. He reads the spell and brings her back. Once she is alive, they fight over who should get to marry her. The father says that the man that went to get the spell, did what a father would do, the man that carried her bones to the river, did what a son would do, and the third that lived a hard life, did what a lover would do, and said he deserves to be the husband.

I decided to change this story to a mother-daughter tale because we always hear about mother's pushing their daughters to get married and have children. Even from personal experience, my own mother talks about grandchildren all the time, while my dad stays quiet and doesn't say a word. The stereotypical dad doesn't want his daughter to be involved with boys, so I thought making the story with a father-daughter would make it a little less unrealistic. Adding the celibacy twist at the end, I thought would take the reader by surprise and add a little humor to the story. 

Arthur Ryder, Twenty-Two Goblins; The Three Lovers

8 comments:

  1. I also read this story for my reading!! I like how you changed up the story a focused on this specific story. This one was my favorite part in the 22 goblins. You wrote the story well and I love the twist at the end! I like the bickering going on between the mother and daughter because I feel that is how it really go. Love the story!

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  2. Wow, I really enjoyed this story. I actually laughed out loud at the end of the story. You did a great job building up to the end. This back-and-forth between the mother and her daughter was especially entertaining because it reminded me a lot of my own mother and my sister. Nicely written and well developed dialogue! Now I'm sort of curious about what went down while the four were away at the market.

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  3. This is a really fun take on the original story. I love the dynamic between the mother and daughter, and I love that the daughter is perfectly fine not marrying at the moment and that she is given a voice in the story. The little twist at the very end was also very clever and a good way to end the story. Really good job!

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  4. That was really cute and something that I could definitely see in real life, an overbearing mother and an independent daughter that does not have time to get married at the moment. I also loved the twist at the end when they said they were celibate. It was surprising and not something that I saw coming myself.

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  5. Melanie, I really enjoyed your story about the three men and Coral. I thought you did an excellent job incorporating dialogue between the mother and Coral. I could really understand how she was feeling and that is was not the first time her mother had done this. I always find it funny when parents are so intrusive into their children’s lives. After reading your Author’s note, I am glad that you changed the story up. It seems like the original story was very grim with her passing. You really switched it up by having a comedic ending which I really enjoyed. Also, I really liked how you broke up the paragraphs. It was a longer story but it did not feel like it because of how you wrote it. If I had to recommend anything, maybe include a picture or two in order to help the reader imagine where they were. Just a thought. Overall though, I really liked the story! Great job!

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  6. I wasn’t expecting that last line! It was like a punchline. I think the dialogue between Coral and her mother were the best parts, especially when Coral said “why don’t you marry one?” I also felt sympathetic towards the three men—they were so polite and awkward I felt bad for them.

    If you’re looking for suggestions for when you revise, I have a few. I wouldn’t mind hearing more about why Coral doesn’t want a husband, and maybe more about what she wants instead. As it stands right now, at least in some scenes, Coral’s mother feels like she moves the plot along more than Coral does herself. She isn’t able to persuade her mother to do anything—is this intentional to show her mother’s stubbornness? It makes Coral’s character seem weaker in comparison. I was expecting her to outwit her mother somehow. Or, if Coral isn’t supposed to be the main character, you could consider establishing another character, like the mother, in the opening lines instead of Coral.

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  7. This was fun! I liked that Coral wanted to be independent and that the three men also weren't looking to get married. I'm curious about where they were coming from and going to though. I'd also like to know why Coral didn't leave to go traveling and seek her own destiny. But I liked your story and thought it held good points.

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  8. I enjoyed reading this story. I wish there was more reason to Coral's refusal to get married. If she planned on exploring and traveling the world, I would understand why she absolutely did not want a husband. I realize she does want her freedom though. Is she just staying where she is because her mother is there, and she feels like she has to be there to help her mother? I really enjoyed this story and the twist you put on it!

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